Last night I had the idea to do an impromptu salt water flush, as I had eaten some chinese food, panicked, and wanted it out as quickly as possible, and an SWF is the quickest way I know to induce diarrhea. (Consequently, I also figured out that chopping up laxatives into quarters shaves off 4-6 hours of wait time! Usually it takes 8-12 for me, and after cutting them it takes 4-6! Worked twice now!)
I added key lime juice and ice to make it a little more palatable, as just plain salt water grosses me out every time, and I thought if it tasted like a nasty-rita (or a marga-laxative? Laxa-rita? XD) it might go down a little quicker, and it worked! I recommend it! Still gross, but with an added sensation to focus on [salty AND sour AND cold] it was a bit better.
SWF's take a while longer if you have a lot of food in your system. I waited almost two hours. I felt it working.
Then it finally worked, and I did the business. And flushed.
And the water didn't go down.
And I plunged....and plunged.....(how clogging can LIQUID be??)
Plunging made the "water" trickle away, but not a full flush.
I thought, trickling is better than nothing. Besides, the second wave was about to hit.
Still wouldn't fully flush.
So this morning, I checked on it. Nothing went down overnight. I stewed poop soup. I had to drive to the gas station a mile away to take my morning leak. And get some scratch offs to make it worth my while.
I had to bite the bullet and call my landlord and tell her that I needed Al the maintenance guy to come fix it.
...Sorry you had to see that, Al.
The plus side is, Josh left to go deer hunting yesterday and is gone til Sunday, so I could say that he told me to call them to fix it before he went to work. Al probably believed that....girls don't poo.
He was in there for like 15 minutes (SORRY AL) and eventually had to give up on plunging and get the drain snake from his maintenance closet and that did the trick.
Sooooo.....moral of the story? MAKE SURE YOUR TOILET WORKS BEFORE YOU SWF.
(Oh, and make sure your car starts too....3 weeks ago I took laxatives and they started hitting me on the way home from work AND MY BATTERY DIED. LUCKY for me, I was at a gas station getting gas and it just wouldn't start, so I could go in the station. But what if I wasn't??)
How was YOUR morning??
||EDIT|| oh my god, my 100th post on this blog is about POO?? It should be about something better than THAT! How lame.
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5 comments:
LOL, LOVE the story! Hehe, words to the wise, right? Glad your flush worked (your flush, not your toilet's flush XD) Stay strong today!
hahaha!!! I had plunger fun this week too - except not my fault at all, these 2 girls I babysit insist on wasting at least 1/2 roll of toilet paper, but I had the same problem of having to run to the gas station to use the bathroom for the last TWO days!
hahahahahaha i stumble across a comment you post and think "hmmm why am I not reading her blog"... then this is what I find. You are hilarious
Lol, that was an acrobalance contest to see how many people we could pile on a base. It was called 'two feet on the ground' I think o.O
Thank you, you can have my legs if you really want them :p I was hiding my thighs under the shorts. I've never had much definition or shape to my calf muscles, and it pisses me off no end! D:
Duly noted about the SWF. Our flat toilet is notoriously pathetic, you have to empty buckets of water down it even if you just take booze poos *Shudders* Poor Al!
Oh yeah, how the hell am I not following you?!? You're brilliant!
That was hilarious! Poor Al! Good call on blaming it on your husband, though :) I don't think my toilet would be able to handle a SWF, now that I am thinking about it. Thanks for the warning! xoxo
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