8 is my new favorite number

So I had to get new dress pants cause the only pair I have are waytoobig, and I have to go to my coworkers funeral tomorrow. Tried on 12s, like I usually wear. Too big. Tried on 10s, still big. (Say what?) Tried on the 8s...perfect fit. Even on my big wide ass. Whens the last time I wore that size? Jeez...high school, perhaps? We're talking 6-7 years ago. Now, I'm not ready to get optimistic about it until I get jeans that size, as we all know how unforgiving jeans are. And I hate HATE pants shopping, with a fiery passion. Am I ready to start loving pants again? Time will tell, next time I give myself an honest try at really shopping, and not getting frustrated and settling for the first pair of whale pants I find.

Needless to say, despite the fact I'm wearing them to a funeral for a life that was cut waaay too short, I will sit there silently thrilled that I'm bawling surrounded by coworkers in size *8* pants!

Days like these require one to find happiness in small things.

Anddddd.....

This morning I was (a very bloated) 141.2 lbs. Fuck. Yeah. I wonder if todays minor undoings will fuck up tomorrows weigh in or if I will finally see 140 since the first time in 7 years. I will dance a happy dance of sunshine and fairydust if that is the case. Actually, I have a theory that because my scale is a Weight Watchers brand, they have it set 10 or 15 pounds below what you actually weigh, just to fuck with you and make you think their goddamn program is working. Rapid loss is hard to believe when you see it.
I want to go very light on the intake for the next few days in preparation for possible (probable) thanksgiving failure. Black Friday will be a day of recovery before I go back into battle on Saturday with his family (twice, if I visit his mom and dad in the same day - fuck divorce!)

I am going to have a busy week. Too busy to eat? Its easy with adderall. Focus, with no obnoxious appetite getting in the way. In a way I kind of wish it was all over with already. Then again, it will be all over with before I know it. This funeral is really going to put a damper on my mood.

Either way, I wanted to share my exciting news. :) hunger hurts, but starving works!

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels!

(But why do I still look so fat?)

Whatever...I'm so close to 139 I can almost taste it. And it tastes like black coffee and not much else.

Peace