I will do BETTER today

Hey, guess what?

I found out that if I eat a lot before work I totally fuck up the rest of my day!

Yeah!

No more of that for this chicky-poo!

Yesterday was a food disaster. I had cereal AND a yogurt AND a salad AND lasagna AND cheetos AND a Baby Ruth bar AND a ton of sugarfree hard candy (which I don't feel so bad about - anyone else ever have the sugar-free Crystal Lite lemonade candies? AWESOME.)

So....3,000 calories? Who knows, because I STOPPED COUNTING.

Ugh....fail.

Today I'm going to go on a bike ride on an empty stomach in the hot sun and I don't care if I keel over and die because that is what I have coming to me.

Oh, and I'm bitter and frustrated about really wanting to go back to school but not knowing where to start and having a wet blanket fiance who is frustrated with his own life and doesn't want anyone else to succeed either, even though he already got to go to school and get a degree even though he's mad that he picked Psychology and --

ugh...rant.

Am I PMS-ing? Is it that time of the month? Or am I just cranky? I can never tell, especially on the pill, and especially because I forgot to take my pills when I went camping and got TWO periods this month already. FML. Oh well, sex is boring now anyways, so who cares if I'm out of commission for two weeks out of four? I won't be having sex the other two weeks either, even when I can.

Yup. Just a bitter cranky ol' bitch today. Don't cross me.

:D

I have been lusting after a Barnes and Noble nook e-book reader lately. I never thought I'd want one, but they look pretty neat and I think I could get into not having to hold a paper book in my hands, and buy books on the go. I am pretty impulsive though, so we'll see how I feel about it in a month and if I really want one. I've been saving money pretty well the last few weeks and my savings is as big as its ever been, and I don't wanna jinx it or blow it on something I really don't need. Like e-literature. Anyone have an e-book reader? Lemme know how you like it.


My apartment is messy and I just don't fucking care. I just wanna take a bike ride and get away. I want to get away from everything. Does anyone else ever fantasize about just picking up and leaving? Go to Cali, don't tell your coworkers, your folks, even your sig. other? Take my cat, my clothes, the few precious items I have, (maybe my turtle too although that could get messy in a car) and just drive and drive til there is no more road left?

I sometimes wish I had a dog instead of a cat. That would facilitate running away so much better.
I can't keep a litter box in my backseat ;D
But I wouldn't trade her for any old dog in the world

Anyways. Let a dreamer dream.

I have some mental time alone until he gets out of the shower. Then I'm going to take a bike ride for some more mental time alone.

Maybe I won't come back. A cross country bike ride. Wouldn't that be wonderful?
GOD, I wish I had 50 million dollars. I wouldn't work. I'd volunteer. I'd travel. I'd help others using my available time, living off my savings.

One of my biggest fears is running out of time to do things I need to do, or things I love.

There is no time. NO TIME. I want to run away.

peace.