I've done so horrible! I'm ashamed to even admit it! I just took 5 laxatives. I may even do a saltwater flush. I'm afraid to try but I feel so horrible. I'm starting to think I'll never get skinny. I'll die fat!
UGH!
**EDIT** Starting the saltwater flush now. I'm a little nervous for some reason but I just want to be rid of everything and I don't purge so my intake only has one way to go. I actually don't mind the taste of saltwater so far but we'll see how I feel about it when I get to the bottom of the cup. Four cups is a lot when you're not thirsty. I think I'll take a few hits to numb myself and just chug it. If it is so gross it makes me puke, well that wouldn't be so bad either.
I'll update about my progress as it goes! If this works well and is non habit-forming for the body, I may do these a lot!!!
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- Emily
- I'm a lifetime student of the School of Self-Loathing. I feel like I have no control over anything in my life and I want to control something I know I can. I want to be thin. I want to use starving as self destruction and thinness as a means of getting what I want. This is my Ana blog...my Analog. Email me at: negativespaceblog@gmail.com
1 comment:
Oh love...Good luck with the salt water. I hope it treats you well. :/
Tonight is the first night I've gone without laxies in...I dunno HOW long. I'm afraid to see what the scale will tell me, but I've GOT to give my body a break. I'm scared of what I'm doing to myself. Whatever.
You are NOT fat, so you cannot DIE fat. Plus, you're getting thinner. YOU WILL GET THINNER. You practically have no choice in the matter, really, if you think about it. It may just take a little longer than you'd like, but you will get smaller. It's your destiny. :D It's gonna happen.
<3 you to pieces. Itty bitty tiny skinny pieces.
P.D.
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