Froot

Froot sayle at Wallmahrt. I got lotsa fruit. A pineapple, 4 lbs of strawberries, 4 pints of blueberries, bananas, fat free vanilla yogurt for more blueberry parfaits, cottage cheese. Okay, the last two in that list aren't fruit, but they are to be eaten with said fruit, so they make the list. Not to mention the grapefruits I already have. Its ruby-red season and I fucking love them. The only fruit season I look forward to more is POMEGRANATES. My favorite. I just wish they were available all year round. Or for a little longer than only a few weeks.

And it all fits within the confines of my "Liquid/Kinda-Semisolid Food Fast". Fruit, yogurt, cottage cheese, etc. I guess my requirements are if a 8 mo. old baby can eat it, it makes the list of acceptable additions. And its starting today. Going through the balance of the weekend, and as much of next week as I can stand. I'll go 7 days if I can. Yeah, I'll shoot for that.

I planned on starting a running program today (for those of us who can't run from their door to their mailbox without wheezing). I've looked online at lots of "start running" sites and basically they all say the same thing: run a minute, walk a minute, repeat until eventually you can start running longer than a minute. Its a little chilly out today. I hate to be procrastinating, but its snowing out (just little flakes that are not sticking to the pavement) and it is cold and gray outside and suddenly it doesn't sound fun anymore. I didn't realize the weather wasn't going to be my friend today. If its nice tomorrow, I'll start tomorrow. Otherwise I'll pick a nice day this week and try. No, I'm serious. Here.

Besides, I feel kind of down today anyway. I made the cardinal mistake of trying on jeans. I hate buying jeans more than any other article of clothing, although they are my favorite item of clothing to wear on a day to day basis. Figure that one out. I wear jeans for years, until they're unwearable.

Either way, I caught a glimpse of a very white, large, gelatinous ass in the mirror and it was over from there. The way my ass keeps jiggling moments after my foot has already hit the floor was enough to make me want to vomit. Jean shopping over.

Near binge crisis averted. (Damn you Walmart, for putting women's clothing right next to the food part of the store.) I bought healthy stuff and walked past all the chocolate, all the chips, all the nastiness. My treat? a diet Mt. Dew.

That was a close one.

You know whats fun? I don't know why I haven't done this before. I'm making a playlist of ALL my absolute favorite songs, the ones I've played more than any others. The songs that make me happy to hear no matter what occasion. The guilty pop pleasures I wouldn't readily admit to enjoying (I'm talking to you Avril). Its all in. That way, when I'm in another shitty mood like I'm in right now, I can just listen to ALL my favorite songs in one place! (HOW long have I had my iPod now? Why haven't I done this earlier??)

My head feels foggy. I'm afraid I'm not making any sense. I may be slightly hung over yet.

I apologize for being all over. I think I should just go now. Catch up on reading and commenting, then painting a small jewelry chest thing I found. Its great to have time for projects again!


peace

Emily


::EDIT:: I have swung from manic to depressive back to manic about 10 times today. I have felt all keyed up with nowhere to go, and sad and slow with nothing to do. Now I'm just plain pissed off for no reason. I'm angry about nothing. I'm just angry. I'm supposed to go to someone's b-day party tonight and I just don't give a flying fuck about it. My ass is so huge and my belly so big and bloated that I will fill up every square inch of that tiny bar all by myself. I want to stay home and just stew in my buttery fat. I don't want to see other people. And I'm still not in the mood to hang out with Josh much. I've given him the cold shoulder since Wednesday. My head hurts and I feel a little dizzy from the lack of food today. Its great. I would say "fuck it", but I'm just not in the mood to have to explain why I didn't show up when I get back to work on Monday after telling everyone I'd be there. I'll just make an appearance and come home. They should have all started drinking at 6 anyway, and it is now past 10, and I probably won't get there until 11. If I'm lucky the party will be winding down by then and then I'll have a reason to leave. Then I have to hang out with one of my friends tomorrow, and I don't give a fuck about him either. I don't want to hang out with ANYONE this weekend! >:(

All I want is to sit home and be dizzy and fat in my sweatpants all by myself all night. Fucking a, is that too much to ask?! Somebody pass me a fucking joint!

::EDITx2:: So Josh called and I told him whats gone on in my head all day and how I'm feeling and he said its fine to stay home in jammies and be fat and watch a movie. (He didn't say the fat part). I just hope my huge belly bloat won't nudge him off the bed. I could clap him between my thunderous thighs to keep him from falling off.

God I'm being melodramatic. I must be PMSing. Yes, that explains it. Fuck you body, for sending the hormones that torture my brain. I won't feed you. HA!