And I hate to say it, but laying off the restricting while sick is helping me get better quicker, I think. I hate to admit it but I had to feed my sick body in order for it to get well again (even though I had no appetite and wanted to play off that very much) and the days I felt the worst were the days I didn't eat anything.
Although, I didn't need everything I ate yesterday. I'm too embarrassed to even post it. The Binge Eating Mantra ran through my head ("You already fucked today up, you might as well eat what you want because tomorrow you're not getting ANYTHING!") and I had fast food twice yesterday. There's eating to get well and then theres binging because you think you have a free ticket.
And whats worse is getting a cold when 1. I'm the only one sick right now so I have no idea where it came from, just to spite me, and 2. It comes just at a time when I hit an ATL and I'm feeling really good about myself, too good for Ana Karma to allow. I feel like I'm knitting a big blanket and I've been working on it since mid-August and I made some real headway on it in the last few weeks and then for no reason I decided to unravel the last few weeks worth of progress and start where I was early January. Sure, why not? Damn you, cold!
I think I'm starting to feel well enough that today may be my last day of eating American sized portions of everything (social commentary: we fucking eat too much here) and maybe tomorrow I can get back to the restriction and control that keeps me sane. Sane is a relative term here.
Well I don't have anything more relevant to say so I'm off to read and comment. Oh, and I wanted to share these photos I found while looking for the unraveling knitting project photo above:
As a knitter I got a huge kick out of these. Very clever and funny. Maybe I'll try to make them someday.
NO REAL ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THESE DISSECTIONS.
;)
peace
Emily
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