"It's Been Awhile..."

"...since I've gone and fucked things up, just like I always do."

Had a bad day with Josh. Huge fight. I won't delve into details, because I don't want to relive it, but it was ugly. I felt like such a piece of shit I cut with my Exacto knife at work 11 times.

- But -

We're okay now. We had all day to stew over it, be pissed, and get over it. So its gone.

I ate one of those Chipotle burritos today. (The ones that weigh at least a pound.) So tasty but so, so bad. They did the service of posting a calculator for their food online so you add all the ingredients you got and then the calories add up (if you ever eat at Chipotle in the US and are curious what you ate the link is here) so I ate a burrito that was 1185 calories. Ouch. I guess the only consolation is that its the only thing I ate today so its still under my recommended womanly amount for "normal" people. Plus, I took six laxatives so by tomorrow it will be purged. I had so much other shit to worry about today and felt so bad about the fight that I don't even fucking care. I ate a huge burrito and I don't care.

Tomorrow is a fast. Friday will be a fast if I can stand two days in a row. (I don't think I ever have yet - go ahead and call me a pussy.) Saturday is free food at work for working mandatory overtime and if it looks tasty I don't know if I can stand to resist. Sunday my parents are coming up to visit and my dad wants birthday dinner at *gasp* the China Buffet a few blocks away. Eeek! That has been giving me anxiety all week. Maybe I can talk him out of it and suggest going to the Salad Emporium instead?

(Just kidding, there is no Salad Emporium. I need to think of somewhere else to suggest.)


Josh is going to bed and I would like to as well. I, for reasons unknown, have what feels like growing pains in both my legs (when it feels like your bones hurt) my ass hurts, my back hurts, and I now have a headache. Oh, woe is me.


Good night, my lovelies.


Peace

Emily