Better(?)

For the most part, I'm better now. I still blow a kleenexful of snot about 4 times a day but other than that I'm over my cold. (Actually, this morning my throat hurts a wee bit and my nose feels stuffed up again. If I get ANOTHER cold I'm going on a shooting spree at that damn Germopolis of a workplace.)

Today is my first real day back on the restriction wagon. Any time thus far that I've tried to do it I've felt 5 times worse than normal, since I was sick and my body wasn't having any of it. Then yesterday I ate a huge lunch and I felt like shit after that, too. My stomach hurt and it hurt and felt funny going all the way through. So I think I'm done eating that much for a while.

Josh started up his "diet" again. He went out and bought a TON of low-cal food and is going to be restricting hardcore. (Would you believe that now I have all the kinds of foods I'd normally want to be surrounded in, I am not craving a single ounce of it? FML) So hopefully with him restricting around me it will boost my resolve. Although I restrict better when we're fighting cause its like I'm trying to avoid cutting so what else can I do?? Maybe I should go tell him he's a poop head or something....lol.

I'm anxious to get started on the couch to 5k (and in 3 months I'll regret ever saying that for sure) or maybe I'm just anxious for spring. I'm trying to take my moms advice and not "wish my life away" but goddammit, I really wish it were spring. If I didn't know so many people here I'd fucking move. I really hate winter. Its fun for like, 2 weeks. Yay snow! Then its like...go away. No, but in Wisconsin you get snow AND two months of below 20 degree weather!! So I'm trying to stay positive and make the most of my indoorsy months. This weekend I'm going to clean out a disorganized closet, hang out with a friend I haven't seen in ages, clean my fishtanks, and knit my ass off. (I'm making a pair of purple slippers, cause I can). I should try to knit with the most frequency in the next two months, cause I can get the most done with a lack of other things to do.

So yeah. I'm off to eat something lo-cal. I'm excited to restrict again. My latest motivation is I saw someone's wedding photos at work last night and he has always been adorable but his wife is chunky. I remember him complaining that she says she's fat and he says "Oh, of course not honey!" but I SO see it. She had one of those strapless dresses that ALWAYS give women that skin bulge on the top because they have to be so tight on top in order to stay up. She is 5'4" according to him and I'd bet she's 150 lbs. She was stuffed into that dress. She had quite the muffin top under her big fat arms. Lucky for her the dress fanned out, I'd hate to see what her body looks like. Oh, it was glorious. There was this one picture, where she was crouching next to a kid and her arms were held out in front of her on his shoulders or something, and staring down into that shoulder/cleavage fat pad was just hilarious. It was totally unflattering. The best part was when her hubby wanted to see if I could guess who's who in the wedding party and I pointed at a short brunette asking if that was her sister (she too is a short brunette) and he said "No, she is" and pointed to a 5'9" blond WHALE. Not only didn't she look like the bride AT ALL, she HAD to be pushing 215 or so. I was internally rolling on the floor, but I had to be polite and say "oh, really?"

Moral of the story: another good motivation for me is feeling better than someone. I know, its bad, but its a coping mechanism cause I don't usually have a lot to feel better about. So if I'm thinner than her (which I already am), then I win. And I'm only going to get better. This is what's keeping me going the rest of the week.

Whats your motivation?

My stomachs growling...I don't want to spoil it. :(

So I'll have coffee.

...Time to make coffee.


Peace!