WCT Fast

Thats water, coffee, and tea to you. Liquid fast doesn't quite cover it because I'm avoiding high calorie juices and such, but water fast doesn't quite cut it either because I like my water tainted with....something.

So here I sit, drinking coffee, hoping the caffeine stimulant effect starts working and moves along some of yesterdays sins. (Did I mention that after I posted last night I went into the kitchen and methodically microwaved and ate about 12 pizza rolls without blinking an eye? WTF is wrong with me???)

I feel foggy and full of garbage. I want to cleanse. Tea makes me feel healthy and cleansed. I shall drink green tea and knit my scarf on lunch today. FYI, take up knitting. Knit through breaks and lunches during downtime at work/school/home. Busy hands are happy hands (not shovels pushing food into one's mouth). You get to be crafty and make yourself neat stuff (I shall never buy a scarf again!), you get to keep yourself occupied and off food, and if people associate you as the "knitter" wherever you are, they won't think of you as the "eater". About a year and a half ago I slowly started phasing out eating at work. I always ate a lunch of some sort, but I eventually stopped eating and started drinking tea. I will eat once in a while, but I started bringing my knitting to work and instead of being the eater, I'm the knitter. It is so commonplace with me that people don't bat an eye or wonder why I never eat. They just ask, "What are you making this time?" or "When you make mine, make it purple to match my jacket." :) Yeah right, when yarn (or my precious free time) is FREE and not wasted on you, then maybe I'll make you something. What have you done for me lately??

Okay, anyways....knitting is cheap and distracting and I will always be one to try to get other people to try it. Google is a wonderful thing. I know Peri does it.

Okay, seriously if I don't feel some movement soon, I'm going to pop an adderall. Now theres a stimulant that gets things moving. Its usually like a half hour after I take it that I have to go to the bathroom. Then I'm not hungry for like 5 hours or more. Then I have focus and energy and drive to get things done. Did I mention I have a prescription??? Oh adderall, you are a friend of mine!

I am sharing my addys with my fiance, who doesn't have a prescription (or insurance). I am slowly banking my half of them in a separate pillbottle. The days I don't take them, I save them. I barely took any this month just to have some sort of a buffer for the months ahead, in case I need more. He already ran out...but I have like 15 more >:) Mwahhhahahaha.....

I need to get my greasy butt in the shower. (Theres a visual for ya....) Then I want to try to head out to work early because I work near a Barnes and Noble and I am dying to get my hands on a new read, although I probably won't start it until I'm done with my scarf because I can't have two extraneous time consuming projects going at the same time, and I'm fucking sick of knitting a straight line for 36 inches already! (and I still have 20 more inches to go! Scarves are boring!) Particularly, I have my eyes on Portia de Rossi's new book about her struggle with an eating disorder. I am such a sucker for good ED reads, and I have to go out and buy them right away! Why wait for the library to get it when for a meager fee I can have it rightnow? Instant gratification, thy name is Emily.

Anyways, back to the subject... today is a water-coffee-tea fast, which will now be known in my brain as a WCTF. Clever, eh? I will hold out on any solids until tomorrow. In fact, I will try to go light on solids all this week. Maybe I'll just eat salads and soups and fruits and mushy easily digested shit like that, and then on Saturday when I'm home and Josh is working I can do an SWF and flush everything out. I need to do something, before my weekend oopsie I ACTUALLY hit an ATL of 141.7 lbs for about 12 minutes before I went and fucked everything up. Now (with clothes on) I am 148.3. WHAT THE FUCK. I need to starve hardcore this week. I was so effing close to 139 I could taste it. And it tasted like...nothing. Because thats what I need to eat to get back to it.

Holy shit....ramble much? My mind is everywhere. How many paragraphs have I already written?? I really need to get a shower if I'm going to be able to leave in time to stop at the bookstore.

Love you all, you are welcome to join my WCTF today. Good luck, if you do!

Oh, and good luck to a recently married Mindy, who is entering treatment today. Please drop by her and send her good vibes, she is doing a very brave thing and taking care of (and loving) herself.

xoxoxoxox

Emily