a little exercise

is better than no exercise. Right? Thats why I only did 20 min. of P90X. I'm not much of an exercise person anyway, so I really need to force myself. And we're in the middle of a heat wave and its fuckin' hot outside and in. But just moving and engaging some muscles during the day is better than nothing. Plus I'm not eating today.

I ate a lot yesterday. It was all healthy stuff, but it was still a lot. handfuls of pistachios and peanuts, an applesauce cup, hotdogs (fuck I forgot about those....) and homemade "granola". My "granola" consists of me needing to leave super quick for work so I threw some cereal together in a ziploc bag and ate some, pinch by pinch, on the way to work. Generic Grape Nuts, Bran Buds by Fiber One, and about a cup and a half of dry instant oatmeal. The Grape Nuts are kind of sweet by themselves, so no sugar required! I just kept the bag in my lap and kept eating it by the pinch, or how much I could fit between my thumb and forefinger.

So like I was saying about the guy at work, yesterday he was talking about taking a honeymoon. His fiance was saying they could just stay somewhere in the state, but he wants to take her to Jamaica. "I know she loves traveling, you only get married once, and I know it will make her REALLY happy." He is so sweet to her. I'm really happy for them. And I'm the type of horribly envious person that has a hard time being happy for someone who's getting something I'm not. But in this case I'm happy because these are two people who REALLY love each other and she obviously makes him very happy. I wish I made my boy that happy. When I'm skinny I'll be irresistible.


I'm watching Price is Right. I hate those skinny bitches that hand out prizes. I hate them. They are beautiful, they live in LA, they are on TV. I don't feel bad about being envious of them.


Is it too much to ask to be skinny and fabulous and wealthy? Or maybe not even that. Is it too much to ask to be normal? I'd give up my desire to be skinny to be rid of the disease that lives in my skull.

So I'm thinking, since sometime next month is the 1 year anniv. of my blog (holy christ its been that long???) That I really need to lose some serious poundage in the next month. I am going to get friendly with protein powder/shakes again. Fiber and protein are my friends. Healthy food and some serious calorie counting. I'm thinking of making Friday a Fuck Food Friday Fast. Thursday is Liquid Calorie day. I will exercise at least 1/2 hour every day. I will clean my apartment. I will eat, live, breathe Ana for the next month. Ana, deliver me.


Liz from GB, do you have a blog I can follow? Local bloggers excite me!


Time to wake up Boy again. And clean. And drink a protein shake. And shrink, shrink, shrink.


Peace

Emily