Mmm...Espresso

I just made a sugarfree mocha with FRESH ground espresso. And a new gallon of skim. The sugarfree Hershey's syrup is 15 cals a serving. And the sugarfree caramel syrup I bought for lattes is *0* cals! So the only calories are in the milk. I am forever grateful for the espresso machine/coffee maker (2-in-1) that Josh got me. Its like a Starbucks in my kitchen.

I just had a doctor appointment today. I had my Pap smeared. Ugh...I hate that. Theres a reason I haven't had one in four years. BUT I did get birth control today, and I just took my first pill now. I haven't been on birth control in a few years either. Yay, no babies! Of course, I don't really have sex that often anymore as it is. Its funny how Josh always knows how long its been since the last time, whereas I could fucking care less. I just don't think its that important. But his dick has like a 2 week egg timer on it that goes off after a fortnight and I have to have complacent guilt sex to get off his radar again.

I don't know when it happened but I just don't care about sex at all anymore.

Sorry if thats TMI but hey, you're on MY blog. :P

Okay, something weird happened last night. Yesterday I joined a knitting site called Ravelry (I know...totally dorky) and its kind of cool because you can look at patterns and people's projects and have a knitting blog and keep an online inventory of your knitting supplies and WHATEVER I'M OFF TRACK so ANYWAY I was browsing around on Ravelry last night looking at pictures and on the main picture page I came across a picture that looked really familiar. Well not the picture, the person IN the picture. Keep in mind, this is a huge site with tons of users from all over the US and the world. Well I click on the picture and sure enough, its my friend Phil from high school! Someone who knows him knit him a scarf and put a picture of it on Ravelry! This may not seem monumental to you but its just weird that its a site that huge with users from EVERYWHERE and I came across a picture of my friend on the MAIN page?? I messaged him on Facebook with a screenshot from my computer of him on that site. Waiting to hear what he has to say about it ^__^ Sorry for that totally irrelevant paragraph. I just thought it was wacky.

I got some chocolate treats from Walgreens when I was there to pick up my BC. I got Josh and I each a Wonka bar (because of the chance of winning a Golden Ticket...of course there wasn't one) and I got him some Lindt chocolate carrots. I had 1 carrot and half a serving of Wonka bar. 1 carrot is 70 cals, 1 square of his Wonka bar is 52.5 cals (I'll just call it 53) and 1 square of my Wonka bar is 50 cals. So even though I technically had chocolate for breakfast, it was 173 cals. Not horrible. Oh, and if you have to eat GS cookies, eat thin mints. 4 of them is 160 (compared to 2 peanut butter Tagalongs for 140!) so 1 is 40 and 2 is 80. Its not too bad. I found that out last night.

So 173 so far. After SF mocha, which I'll call 150 cals because of the milk, I'll be at 323. I'll round it up to 325 just because I like to.

Right before work I'll probably eat some vanilla yogurt with protein powder mixed in and Benefiber, with Kashi cereal on top. That will probably be another 300-350 cals or so, but that ought to keep me filled up for a good portion of the day. Then when I get hungry at work I'll just chug cold water with drink mix or something. I'm feeling pretty controlled today :)

Then if I can't handle it once I get home, I'll have a spinach salad with very little dressing on it. Spinach is practically no cals, and so are Bac-o's! I have a fat free Italian dressing thats only like 15 cals a serving but doesn't taste the greatest. I'll just have to deal.

Thank you for the compliments on my picture. I think I'll leave it up in case other people want to see me. Again, that picture was taken at the PERFECT angle. So I look horrible every other way. lol

I sucked in my stomach in the mirror and I couldn't believe how skinny I looked. If I'd taken a picture I could be thinspo! I think I should take pictures of myself at super-skinnyfied angles as motivation to myself....like, this is what I COULD look like, without sucking in. Even so, I'm smaller while sucking in now than I was sucking in at 170, thats for sure. Sometimes I think I can't see any progress from 170 at all, but then sometimes I think I seem *slightly* smaller. I wish I'd have taken before pictures and measurements so I could gauge a real difference. My waist looks smaller, and I can see more hip, but I think my thighs are still 170-lb-girl size. I want a flat stomach, smaller ass, and tiny legs. And I can also do without mom-arms.


I still have a ways to go. But I will be strong today :)

P.D., do you have an email? or would you like to email me so we can get numbers and text? Then I can assault your inbox :) (That sounds dirty.)

Yay, someone wants to be my texting buddy! I am loved. <3

Back to Ravelry. Back to knitting nerd-dom. (Ahh! I just got a horrible arch-of-my-foot cramp! Make it stop!)

Later fanclub.

peace