Eight Days a Week

...Thats how often I need to fast if I ever want to be out of the 140's by the end of this month.

I had a craving for salty/crunchy so instead of reaching for the chips or crackers, I got a pickle. And the damn thing squirted pickle juice all over me. Oh well. Better to smell like a pickle and be losing weight than smell like sour cream and onion and gaining.

Right?

Right.


I'm at a little over 600 cals today. I'd say between 600-630, best estimate. Pretty good by all accounts.

My goal for Feb. is to be out of the 140's. This morning I was 148.4 which is *almost* my lowest yet (only 0.2 lbs away). If I am 147 tomorrow morning I will be WALKIN ON SUNSHINE! And it will be SO good. A new all time low is enough to make my heart sing. This morning, looking in the mirror, I almost thought I looked a little thinner. Doubt it though. I'm as fat as ever. And I won't have to take my measurements til Feb 22. I didn't take them when I first started this at 170 lbs so I don't know how many inches I've lost thus far but will be able to tell how many inches I've lost from 150 lbs.

I am nervous for tomorrow. I have an interview. Its an interview for a job that I've already been doing (without the official title) for about 5 months now, but they have to be technical and have me apply and interview and accept the position and yadda yadda yadda. If they just "handed" the job to me it wouldn't be "fair" to all the other applicants (what applicants.) I am pretty sure I have this job in the bag but still....an interview's an interview, and even if it were a group of my best friends interviewing me, I'd still be nervous. Its the nature of the engagement.

So wish me luck. Because if they didn't just GIVE me the job after the fact that I've already been DOING it for the last few months (just without the title and the slight pay increase) I'd be royally upset. It should be nothing to worry about but my brain likes to concoct worst-possible scenarios and then proceed to convince me that if there's a way to fuck it all up, I will find said way.

Josh just wanted to do his own thing tonight. I'm always up for doing my own thing, whatever interests me. Sometimes I just want him to leave me alone! But for once he was the one to suggest we do our own thing tonight and wouldn't you know it....I miss him and want to hang out with him.

Stupid me.

Off to look up more thinspo. I find "real girl" particularly to be the most thinspiring. I'll never be Angelina Jolie, but I could be *that* girl with a tiny waistline and amateur MySpace photography skillz. Maybe someday....sigh.