Tomorrow is a fast day. It has to be. I ate sushi. A lot of sushi. It probably doesn't have a ton of calories, but i'm sure I'm at 1200 or so for the day. Plus I was a total fattie and didn't resist when someone offered me a (really buttery) white chocolate macadamia nut cookie. Plus a small cinnamon roll. FML
I don't know what my problem was today. I was up at 5:20 this morning, running off 3-4 hours of sleep. Maybe in my tiredness today I had a lapse in judgment? Maybe I just didn't care? Ana was yelling at me to PUT DOWN THE FUCKING COOKIE but I disobeyed her and now I will pay. I have the whole damn day to myself tomorrow at home, and I will not allow myself ONE opportunity to slip. I've noticed that chugging water when you're craving helps a lot. Or lying to yourself. Or staying busy. Maybe I'll just stay out of the house. I should go to the mall. Biggest mall around for 50 miles. People come from all around to visit my mall. I live 5 miles away from it and I never go. Lol.
Whatever it is, I need to prevent future binging. One thing I'm pining for is a new piercing or new ink. Its been two years for both. I have no idea what tattoo I'd get so that will probably go on the backburner some more. But if I hit some serious weight loss goals I might make my reward a new Industrial (some call it Scaffold) piercing. Injury with a purpose, no?
In the process of re-following everybody after switching emails I've found a few new blogs I didn't know about before, so you may see me lurking about all over the place....I'm sneaky like that. Watch out!
<_<
>_>
I'm exhausted. I should just go to bed before my fat fucking face decides to EAT some more.
Tomorrow's a new day, yes?
Coffee and water? Don't mind if I do!
Plus I just discovered frozen heaven last night at my local grocery store. A variety pack of sugarfree Popsicle brand morsels....10 calorie popsicles, 20 calorie creamsicles, and 35 calorie fucking tasty fudgesicles. <3
Okay...enough feeling sorry for myself and my pathetic binging today....off to read and comment!
peace
Emily
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- Emily
- I'm a lifetime student of the School of Self-Loathing. I feel like I have no control over anything in my life and I want to control something I know I can. I want to be thin. I want to use starving as self destruction and thinness as a means of getting what I want. This is my Ana blog...my Analog. Email me at: negativespaceblog@gmail.com
1 comment:
Hey! :)
I'm really glad you found me (and that I found you back :P) because I like the way you think and write. Quite similar to myself, I believe.
Ooh, ooh, and you're 5'7 too! I love finding people that are as tall as I am (but not taller) and around the same age as I am... (I don't recall reading how old you are, but that's of no consequence at this point...) My weight loss started at 159, and finally...finally, I'm getting closer to my goals. Scale today says 132. We shall see where I can get over the coming weeks and months...All depends on how "healthy" I am, I suppose... :/
Yay for new friends! :P
I just chugged an entire Venti coffee (black with a few Splenda) and ate a ridiculously large chicken salad from Chick-fil-A. 300 calories. Yeah, I know. But remember, I'm trying to be good to myself today. The weakness I feel overcoming me is indicative of a deficiency of some sort, and I can't let myself get too far into the unhealthy zone...Got a little girl to worry about. :)
I hope your Monday is going well... Talk to you soon!
<3
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