Comfortably Numb

Hey folks.

Sorry its been a while. I meant to write on Friday but I ran out of time. I had kind of a bad week last week, including two big fights with Josh, Monday and Friday. But Saturday was good, Josh and I took our first trip on mushrooms together. We got them for free and were holding on to them for two months til we finally had a freaking weekend free, and we tripped with two friends of ours who let us use their house.

It. Was. Awesome.

For a first trip it was mild, I've heard bad-trip horror stories, and it was nothing like that. Pot-smoking readers, imagine the BEST weed you've ever smoked, and multiply it by 10. Then add visual tricks and mild hallucinations. It gives you the best feeling body buzz, makes you feel great and like everything is good and right in the world, plus makes Silly Putty the coolest invention EVER. Anddd....you aren't hungry. At all. If anything, you force yourself to eat a little something, just to feel the texture in your mouth. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Way cool.

As far as drugs go, thats the hardest I'll go. I've drank, I've smoked cigs and pot, and now I've done shrooms. It stops there. Drugs are bad, kids. I stick with natural stuff from the earth.

(P.S. It goes without saying that listening to Pink Floyd and the Beatles is mandatory during a trip. It is the perfect soundtrack to an awesome night.)

Anywho, I've hit the worst plateau ever. I can't break and stay at anything lower than 155, and I haven't been able to for 3 weeks now. I don't know what to do. I've only had about 350 calories today, and it was mainly liquid calories minus a (fucking calorie dense!) yogurt, and thats not really SOLID food. It seems like any time I try to fast for more than a day, it gets broken by being force-fed. I wish I could just get Josh to go away for a whole day. Or 7.

I came home and headed straight for the fridge, and then I remembered I wanted to post in my blog before Josh gets home from work, so I came to my computer instead. Instead of stuffing my fat, hungry face right now, I'm blogging, and then reading everyone elses posts. Thanks for distracting me, everyone. :) I am hungry, but I won't give in. I won't! Fuck you, tummy! Fuck you, dizzy head and weak limbs! I CONTROL you! You will sustain with all that toasty fat!

I think to give me the feeling I ate something, I'll make my "chicken soup" (2 cups hot water and 2 boullion cubes, with a few spoonfuls of brown rice) and that will fill me up AND keep me warm. If that doesn't work, I'll drink some tea. No munching for me, no sirree! I feel confident I can keep up with my good work today of not eating since 11.

Well, I'm off to read some blogs and comment, to distract me from the full fridge. Wish me luck!

Peace,

Emily