Analog

Hi, I'm Emily.
This is my ana-blog (analog). I would have written last night when I made the site, but it took me 3 hours to come up with a name. Really. :) I went through scads of ana-phrases and latin phrases, all that were already taken. I was getting mad. Then I thought of negative space. I'm a whole lot of positive space right now, and I'm setting about to change that. I want to see the negative space around my torso, my ribs, my arms, my thighs. So I finally settled on Negative Space for the domain name.
I recently decided to set about this endeavor after my life has taken, how do you say, a shit lately. Yeah, there'll be ups and downs, but lately its a down, and I can't do anything about it. I don't know how I could feel any more useless and helpless when controlling the course of my life than I do right now. I don't know if I have time to elaborate or not, cause my fiance is in the shower and he may be out soon, and I don't know if he'll leave me alone or not. Either way, I'm sure over the course of time you'll get to know me.
I've dabbled with it for a while, getting depressed and starving myself, but then getting happy again and eating like a whale. This time I'm thrusting myself into it headlong. So far I've lost twelve pounds....and it feels so good! Heres my stats:

Age: 22
Height: 5'7"
Current Weight: 160 lbs
High Weight: 175 lbs
Goal Weight1: 140 lbs
Goal Weight2: 130 lbs

I've gained a lot since I graduated high school 5 years ago. When I graduated I was around 145, and I thought I was fat then. As of two weeks ago, I was 172, and have been as high as 175. 30 pounds of pure blubber are just hanging, melting, dripping off my bones, and its disgusting! I have cellulite on my ass and thighs. I have stretch marks on my boobs, my hips, my thighs, my ass. I have never been pregnant. Thats just me getting too fat too fast for my skin to keep up with. Gross Gross Gross!

I've been kicking around the idea of making a blog for a while after reading so many other really wonderful ones (Kat at ProAnaQuest, I'm a fan!) and really, my only hangup has been finding time to sit and type, and what to name it. I wanted to have a good name for it and as I said before, it took a while. :) I've been thinking about so much stuff at work to write about, and different pro-ana ideas to occupy my mind from food. I even made myself a bracelet, even though its not red, or beaded, like I've heard is the norm. I personally don't really like red, and i wanted something a little more durable than a beaded bracelet. I made an embroidery floss friendship bracelet out of pink, dark pink, and purple thread, and it looks nice. Its the kind that looks like it has little V's on it, but if you turn those V's around, they're A's. A is for Ana, and it will remind me to stay on track when I'm hungry. I'll post a picture of it someday.

The fiance is out of the shower and I don't want him privy to what I'm doing, so I have to cut it short. This is just an introduction to who I am. Nice to meet you all. :)

Much love....starve on!

Peace,
Emily